Dick Cheney Is A Cyborg Zombie

Look, kids! (5.00 / 1)

No Pulse!

"Some men rob you with a six-gun - others rob you with a fountain pen." - Woody Guthrie

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by: Miep @ Thu Jul 29, 2010 at 00:26:24 AM CDT

NYT (0.00 / 0)

A New Pumping Device Brings Hope for Cheney

Former Vice President Dick Cheney  is recuperating from surgery to implant the kind of mechanical pump now being given to a small but growing number of people with heart failure so severe that they would most likely die within a few months without it.

The pumps are partial artificial hearts known as ventricular assist devices, and they come in various models. Mr. Cheney's kind is about the size of a D battery and leaves most recipients without a pulse  because it pushes blood continuously instead of mimicking the heart's own pulsatile beat. Most such pulse-less patients feel nothing unusual. But they are urged to wear bracelets or other identifications to alert emergency room doctors as to why they have no pulse.

I will admit that I laughed when I read that last sentence. One wonders what the assumptions of the docs might be otherwise.

"Some men rob you with a six-gun - others rob you with a fountain pen." - Woody Guthrie

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by: Miep @ Thu Jul 29, 2010 at 00:29:39 AM CDT

all i want to do... (5.50 / 4)

...is have a violent diarrheacal bowel movement onto his gravestone...seven dollars at the nearest taco bell; keep in bag for one hour; find gravestone; consume contents of the bag; wait nine minutes, and give dick the gift that keeps giving....

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by: james risser @ Thu Jul 29, 2010 at 19:48:27 PM CDT

You, sir, brought tears to my eyes. (6.00 / 1)

Now... Was that from all that smell and fumes?

Or from the sentiment?

Nah... I choose sentiment.

‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›

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by: Phuq Yew @ Thu Jul 29, 2010 at 22:27:08 PM CDT

[ Parent ]

I'd settle for spitting, myself (5.00 / 1)

But I appreciate your passion on the matter.

"Some men rob you with a six-gun - others rob you with a fountain pen." - Woody Guthrie

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by: Miep @ Fri Jul 30, 2010 at 00:23:42 AM CDT

[ Parent ]